Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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