You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
