Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You've changed since you got that strap on
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
