Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
