It was confusing and full of hummus
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
