sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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