hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I had to cum in my sink.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
