Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
