where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
