SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
