I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
