Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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