Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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