Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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