the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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