So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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