"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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