How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
