Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
