I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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