i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
