I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
