I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
