Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize