I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
