I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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