his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
