So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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