508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
