he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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