So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
