What a fucking waste of an outfit
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
