I wannas sexs uuuuu
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You may now shotgun with the bride
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
