Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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