moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize