Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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