never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it because I queefed?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
