I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
