My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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