What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hippo gnu deer
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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