Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
