If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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