im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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