hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
