Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
