is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
