i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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