Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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