I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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