i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
