Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
