So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
