Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
