pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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