so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize