What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think my moral compass just broke
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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