Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
