apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
