I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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