all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
