Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm bleeding and have questions
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