I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
