I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
